Let’s talk about sex and how often we are actually getting it.
Only kidding! If that was the topic it would probably be the world’s shortest post…
But I do genuinely want to talk about the awkwardness of having THAT talk with your kids. At an appropriate age of course. Which is probably about seven in these precocious days.
One of my kids is at just such an age and the awkwardness of having THAT conversation *shudders* is making me not want to be an adult anymore.
I can’t do adult with my pre-teen. Nobody warned me about this when I brought my little bundle home from the hospital after all.
Ability to use the words “vagina”, “penis”, “ejaculation” and “sperm” without breaking out in hives and/or giggles? Errr no.
In fact, the word *whispers it* vagina makes me want to run and hide my face. So much so that apparently I christened it “rudey” as a child and in all honesty I haven’t progressed much further since. And please, do not get me started on “ejaculation”. Ugh. Just no.
So as you can imagine, dealing with the question “where do babies come from?” wasn’t a conversation I was much looking forward to.
Surely, surely I am not the only parent who feels this way?? You can’t all be grown up, mature and sitting down to sensibly discuss the birds and the bees right?!
Well, I needn’t have worried. One look at my puce with shame face, anxious avoidance of eye contact and seeming new found interest in my fingernails, my lovely boy helped me out.
“Mum it’s called a vagina. And men put their penis inside them to make babies with their sperm. And sperm eat up the inside of your belly and grow big and fat and that is how you made Sophie. Then you have to push the great big sperm baby out of your bottom with a great big poo. SO gross!”
Well, thank f*** for that. Now I don’t have to use the v-word after all.