I have a ten year age gap between my children. This wasn’t exactly planned. It is just the way the cookie crumbled. Teen parenting, marriage, divorce and a new “blended” family all happened between me having Zak and me having Sophie. Lots of people were horrified that we were starting all over again when those blurry, sleep deprived days were a distant memory. I did have moments where I wobbled too but its a bit late once the horse has bolted…so to speak. Now that our little Sophie bear is with us though, I am so glad that I did wait ten years. Here’s why:
Ten Reasons Why A Big Age Gap Rocks
- It is far less intense than having two with a small age gap. Well I’m imagining so anyway. I can feed, bathe, dress and play with the baby without worrying what Zak is doing. I don’t have to juggle the demands of a toddler with a baby and this has largely saved my sanity.
- I did not have to look after a baby or toddler whilst pregnant. My body and my brain have had time to recover between pregnancies. For me this is a big plus having suffered with Hyperemesis. I think back to back pregnancies would just about have finished me off.
- There is only one set of childcare to pay for. With Zak at school, we only have to pay for Sophie if we want to use childcare. This is a massive plus.
- There is only one set of sleepless nights to contend with. At the age of ten, Zak sleeps through the night and sometimes even has a lie in (lucky boy) unless he is ill of course. This means that the only sleep deprivation I am dealing with is Sophie’s and one child’s worth of it is quite enough thank you. I don’t want a toddler pulling my eyelids open at 05:00 after an all night feeding session with the baby.
- The age gap is too large for jealousy to play any significant role. At the age of ten, Zak is fully immersed in his own world, with his own friends and activities. As long as he is fed, clothed and taxied about, Sophie poses no threat to the bubble of tween-hood (not a word but should be) that he inhabits.
- It is easy to spend quality time with them both. I spend all day with Sophie whilst Zak is at school. Sophie’s bedtime is 18:00 so I have the evenings free to spend with Zak – that’s if I can drag him away from his iPad!
- Stuff. I do not need to lug a double buggy, two car seats or handfuls of breadsticks everywhere I go. There is only one lot of nappies needed and that is more than enough for me.
- They don’t fight. Well obviously they don’t fight now because Sophie is only six months old. I think that the age gap will be too large to give them much to fight about. Common interests can cause competition and they won’t really share any with such a large age gap. I have ten years between my brother and I and I don’t recall ever fighting about anything.
- I have time to enjoy Zak. I had ten brilliant years with Zak, many as a single parent which made the bond even closer. I am so thankful that I have had this time with my boy and didn’t have to divide my attention between other children during those first formative years.
- My time as a parent is being extended. For some this might be a negative thing but for me, the thought of an empty nest is too awful. When Zak is grown up and off to explore the world, I will still have Sophie to fuss over. Yay for me.
Ultimately, of course there is no perfect age gap. Ten years is what works for us and right now I wouldn’t have it any other way.