10 Reasons Why A Big Age Gap Rocks

I have a ten year age gap between my children. This wasn’t exactly planned. It is just the way the cookie crumbled. Teen parenting, marriage, divorce and a new “blended” family all happened between me having Zak and me having Sophie. Lots of people were horrified that we were starting all over again when those blurry, sleep deprived days were a distant memory. I did have moments where I wobbled too but its a bit late once the horse has bolted…so to speak. Now that our little Sophie bear is with us though, I am so glad that I did wait ten years. Here’s why:

Ten Reasons Why A Big Age Gap Rocks

  1. It is far less intense than having two with a small age gap. Well I’m imagining so anyway. I can feed, bathe, dress and play with the baby without worrying what Zak is doing. I don’t have to juggle the demands of a toddler with a baby and this has largely saved my sanity.
  2. I did not have to look after a baby or toddler whilst pregnant. My body and my brain have had time to recover between pregnancies. For me this is a big plus having suffered with Hyperemesis. I think back to back pregnancies would just about have finished me off.
  3. There is only one set of childcare to pay for. With Zak at school, we only have to pay for Sophie if we want to use childcare. This is a massive plus.
  4. There is only one set of sleepless nights to contend with. At the age of ten, Zak sleeps through the night and sometimes even has a lie in (lucky boy) unless he is ill of course. This means that the only sleep deprivation I am dealing with is Sophie’s and one child’s worth of it is quite enough thank you. I don’t want a toddler pulling my eyelids open at 05:00 after an all night feeding session with the baby.
  5. The age gap is too large for jealousy to play any significant role. At the age of ten, Zak is fully immersed in his own world, with his own friends and activities. As long as he is fed, clothed and taxied about, Sophie poses no threat to the bubble of tween-hood (not a word but should be) that he inhabits.
  6. It is easy to spend quality time with them both. I spend all day with Sophie whilst Zak is at school. Sophie’s bedtime is 18:00 so I have the evenings free to spend with Zak – that’s if I can drag him away from his iPad!
  7. Stuff. I do not need to lug a double buggy, two car seats or handfuls of breadsticks everywhere I go. There is only one lot of nappies needed and that is more than enough for me.
  8. They don’t fight. Well obviously they don’t fight now because Sophie is only six months old. I think that the age gap will be too large to give them much to fight about. Common interests can cause competition and they won’t really share any with such a large age gap. I have ten years between my brother and I and I don’t recall ever fighting about anything.
  9. I have time to enjoy Zak. I had ten brilliant years with Zak, many as a single parent which made the bond even closer. I am so thankful that I have had this time with my boy and didn’t have to divide my attention between other children during those first formative years.
  10. My time as a parent is being extended. For some this might be a negative thing but for me, the thought of an empty nest is too awful. When Zak is grown up and off to explore the world, I will still have Sophie to fuss over. Yay for me.

Ultimately, of course there is no perfect age gap. Ten years is what works for us and right now I wouldn’t have it any other way.




  1. Julia
    June 28, 2016 / 19:33

    Sounds a very practical age gap! I however had 6 children in 12 years & always had a baby & a toddler ( in fact the first 3 were in 4 years!)

  2. June 28, 2016 / 20:03

    This would suit me too. I cannot cope with a baby and a toddler so just the 1 for me 🙂 plus I love getting focus on just him x

  3. June 28, 2016 / 21:46

    Now when you put it like that….!
    I have a 21 month age gap between my two and it was/is pretty hard work, although I’m hoping that it will pay dividends when they keep each other entertained (which they are doing more and more these days, aged 2 and 4)
    I reckon there are pros and cons for every age gap, although I’m definitely in no rush to have more little ones any time soon…!

  4. June 29, 2016 / 12:18

    My first 2 are 3 years apart and then Adam came when April was 2.5. There were tricky times for sure, but overall it was sweet. I always wanted a fourth with a large age gap, but after a heart condition with my last pregnancy I can’t risk it now. I would love to get pregnant now with Adam being 6.5 years. But we won’t. I think your children are so lucky to get so much one on one time with you as that is something i always felt guilty about.

  5. June 29, 2016 / 19:05

    Aww I totally agree with you here – my stepson and daughter have a 12 year age gap and it’s beautiful to watch the bond they have. He seems to have endless patience with her and really enjoys seeing her develop. It’s not quite the same as have 2 close in age, so they can play together but I really love watching them together xx #triballove
    Bridie By The Sea recently posted…3 Months Later…A Few Reflective ThoughtsMy Profile

  6. June 30, 2016 / 11:15

    There’s 10 years between me and my brother too, and I think my mom was very grateful of all the help she got because if it. Let’s just say, by the time it came for me and my sister to have babies we were both pros at nappy changing! Lucy xx #triballove

  7. June 30, 2016 / 17:12

    It makes a lot of sense now that I have seen it written down. Funny enough I have the complete opposite post in my drafts waiting to be finished (my kids are only 2 years apart)
    Having to look after a toddler, being pregnant and working full time was definitely too much I have to admit. But still I like it they are close in age. I love how your post gave me a complete different perspective on age gaps. x #ablogginggoodtime #triballove
    White Camellias recently posted…Quick and easy squid ink linguini with garlic and lemon prawnsMy Profile

  8. June 30, 2016 / 18:04

    What a lovely post! I only have one bubba for now but my husband is quite a lot older than me so he wants us to have our kids close together, especially as I’ve always said I want 3 or 4 (I will probably rethink that though eh?!). I am the youngest of 4 though and my brother who is closest in age to me is 4 years older and my eldest sister is 10 years older. She’s always been very kind and maternal so it was brilliant as she always looked out for me and babysat! There are certainly lots of positives to big age gaps – it sounds like it’s perfect for you guys! #ablogginggoodtime
    Ellen recently posted…Milestone momentsMy Profile

  9. July 1, 2016 / 15:26

    It’s so nice to read a post that celebrates a big age gap. There seem to be so many benefits, especially the lack of jealousy. Life goes the way it goes & things definitely come around at the right time for each of us. Thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…My Experience at #BML16My Profile

  10. July 3, 2016 / 22:32

    This is so refreshing!! I have read loads about why having children close tighter in age is so great, but very rarely anything about the other side of the story! With a four year old, not a day goes by when I’m not asked about more kids / told why I should have a big age gap. It can feel quite pressured. So this hs been a truly refreshing read!! #ablogginggoodtime
    Coral recently posted…#MySundayPhoto – I can do it myself, Mum! My Profile

  11. July 6, 2016 / 12:30

    I love our age gap! Our daughter was 6 when little one was born. Old enough to amuse herself and off to school every day as well. They play really well together now at 8 and 2 and I think it brings him on faster and it’s helping her too (with her developmental delays etc.). I see mums with several tiny kids and I am so filled with admiration, there’s no way I could have managed. Even crossing the road looks like a battle!

  12. July 6, 2016 / 19:57

    With the way my life is at the moment if I am lucky enough to have more children there will be a definite age gap. My sister is struggling with this dilemma at the moment so I think I will be directing her your way.

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

  13. KK's Mom
    January 17, 2017 / 06:08

    It has been very interesting with the age gap between my children. Their ages are 20, 17, 13 and 2. My 20 yr old and 2 yr old actually argue! My 2 yr old likes to meddle in big sisters purse, steal her glasses, or pull her hair. It’s pretty funny!

  14. May 2, 2017 / 17:28

    I’m always worried that about having anot her baby in the future. Vi is 4 now and I dont want another anytime soon but we would like to in 5ish years..(if we don’t change our mind by then!). It is so nice to read the good points of having children 10 years apart! Lovely post xxx

  15. December 19, 2020 / 15:10

    Age gaps seem to be pretty common in my family for some reason . My mom has 10 years between her and her youngest sister, my dad is 13 years younger than his brother, I am 10 years older than my brother (but only 1 over my sister, so there’s that) and my cousin is 16 years older than his youngest sibling. I’m definitely jealous of my brother, more often than I’d like to admit, as he is special needs and requires a lot of attention and sacrifice, but I love him so so much, and that’s all that matters, right? I will say though that I’m excited to be able to drive him around and hang out with him and be a “cool adult” for him as we get older.

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