It has been a while since I have lived with a threenager – eight years to be exact. I remember likening it to living with a tiny drunk person – no sense of danger or filter on their mouths or behaviour. Other than that, it’s all a bit wooly.
In a few short years I will once again be the proud
servant parent of a threenager and so my darling sister has written a lessons learned guide from her time on the frontline of toddlerhood for me and for anyone else about to enter the battlefield…
“Threenager” (n) – A three year old who acts out, pouts, complains and has the general attitude, angst and mood swings of a teenager.
Hobbies Of A Threenager
- Saying “NO!”
- Stickering. (Everywhere but the sticker book)
- Books. In particular, insisting that they read the story to you, even though they can’t read. Also meltdowns if you do try to read the book yourself.
- Using the expressions “NO Mummy, I know best!” and “Get out of my way Mummy, I’m very busy!”
- Singing. Freestyle.
- Making loud and usually obnoxious observations of the world around them. “That man has a VERY fat belly doesn’t he Mummy?”
- Chasing the family pets around. “They WILL hug me, Mummy!”
- Eating porridge and if it is not provided, demanding porridge (followed by obligatory meltdown).
- Saying “NO!” and then running away.
- Colouring. Anywhere but on paper.
- Hugging trees
Lessons Learned From Living With A Threenager
- Silence is not golden. It’s terrifying.
- Always check a room for signs of art materials before leaving your threenager in it, however unlikely!
- Leave extra time in any trip for important activities (such as tree hugging).
- Always have an emergency stash of porridge.
- The absolute best way to get your threenager’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
- Get used to answering questions about your bathroom activities “What’s that string Mummy?” (!!)
The Joys Of Living With A Threenager
- Everything is new and exciting through their eyes.
- Endless entertainment.
- Constantly being surprised, sometimes even in a good way!
- And of course…
Perhaps you can relate?